If you don't know what my title means and you're a Mom, you should read this book:
Wendy spoke at my MOPS group at Mariners Church this past fall and she gave me a copy of her book. I happened to be the Mom with the youngest baby at the time and she thought I could use all the help I could get! I devoured the book while walking Laila in circles to try to get her to nap back when she was about 6 weeks old and laughed out loud a number of times. Occasionally I read a chapter or two after she went to bed at night and had to share lines here and there with Collin that rang true to me (and also made me laugh).
Wendy also has a blog that I began to follow after finishing the book which I also love. Today's post was something that I have been thinking a lot about and thought it was so real and honest that it was worth sharing. You can find it here. It's about wanting to just be a mom sometimes and be able to let go of all of the household stuff that "needs" to be done. While Wendy admits that she's not even OCD about cleanliness, etc., I feel like I am sometimes and I have a hard time with that. My brain cannot relax or focus on anything but the fact that there are dishes in my sink and toys on the floor. I find myself trying to get Laila to occupy herself so I can take care of these things when I really should be spending that time engaging with her. I need to learn to LET GO of the little things because Laila is not going to remember whether or not the dishes were done but she will remember if mommy was constantly ignoring her in order to get them done. I also need to learn how to ask Collin for help when I need/want it. Collin is always willing to help when I ask but is not good at offering to help on his own. I need to remember that I can ask for help and I don't have to do it all on my own. (even though it would be nice if he offered!*)
*disclaimer - we have discussed this, and he does read this blog!
I know it's only going to get harder and harder as more kids (hopefully) come along, so I am trying to get a handle on this now and learn how to prioritize and compartmentalize kid time and cleaning/organizing time and focus on what is most important. This is also true when it comes to God time, because I tend to think cleaning the kitchen while she naps should take precedence over spending some quiet time with Jesus daily. I'm a work in progress and sharing it with you is going to help keep me accountable. I hope.
**I will send my copy of the book to the first person who asks for it, as long as you promise to pass it along to another Totally Desperate Mom when you're done. And make them promise to do the same, and so on and so on...)
3 comments:
This is a GREAT posting. I am not a mom yet, but feel like I would be the SAME way and Ian sounds JUST like Collin this area.
Thanks for sharing :)
Thanks for your sweet post. So glad that you found my blog and that you enjoyed Totally Desperate mom. Your daughter is ADORABLe.
I will be back down at Mariners (the Friday MOPS group) on May 6th.
In my experience, my husband in the beginning thought Broooklyn was purely dependent on me because of the breast feeding. But at about 6 months he started helping out a lot more. He wakes up with her every morning now and they have their one-on-one time until my he leaves for work. He takes her with when he goes to run errands if it's not like a quick trip or her and our dog for a walk so I can get what I need to do done. Just to name a few things. I know my husbands been ready for a second child for a while, so I think that has also played a factor in helping out! Haha.
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