came across these and they make me happy.

 good times in college at one of our favorite margarita joints, zarela

(and in the cab on the way home)

yes, i was 21.

love and miss you both liz and katy!

lets do this again sometime.

we took a lot of pictures yesterday.

she just looked so darn cute in her little plaid shirt.

motherhood has a learning curve.

Soooo. Apparently you shouldn't sit your 6 month old on your bathroom counter and let go of them for half a second. Because if you do, they can AND WILL flop forward and bonk their head/face/eye onto said bathroom counter, and a few days later a black eye will result. Whoops. Bad Mommy!

a good day amongst feelings of entrapment.

I am SO TOTALLY NOT COMPLAINING, because I love my job as a mom and I love that Laila is finally on a schedule that makes her a happier baby (which makes for a happier mommy). BUT, this new schedule has trapped me in my home and as of last week I have started to feel the effects of it BIG TIME.

I can no longer go to Stroller Strides (have been once in February, so my awesome instructor let me put my membership on hold for the month) because Laila naps from 8:30-10:30ish (Strides is 9:30-10:30) and that used to be my daily outlet into the "real world" (as well as kept me in shape). I haven't worked out ONCE since the 1/2 marathon was over and I feel fat (and look pregnant again, which I am not...thanks stomach muscles...or lack thereof)! I swear I've gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks. All in my stomach area. Boo. And I just rarely get out of the house other than to run to the grocery store or other errands in between her 3 daily naps. I know this is not unusual for a new mom, and like I said, not complaining. More just venting my new found feelings of entrapment on to here BECAUSE I CAN.

The good news of today (and the last few days actually) is that my house has gotten super organized. WHICH I LOVE, and MAKES ME HAPPY. All of the laundry is done, kitchen is clean and cabinets/pantry/drawers are organized, bedroom closets are cleaned out and organized, rooms have be rearranged, etc. AND amongst all of this organizing today I came across a baggie full of gift cards and went through them to find out their balances and ended up with a TOTAL of $598.22 in random gift card money. That's right people, $600 in gift cards. SCORE. Some are from baby gifts and others are from YEARS ago (2008 was the oldest one I think). What a find.

To further make my day better, Collin just came downstairs and I told him of my finds, one of them being a Starbucks card for $39.00. He said "nice, we should go then! what do you want?" I placed my order and he and Chloe just took off for a walk to Starbucks to bring me back a twice blended coffee frappuccino with whipped cream and caramel on top. DOUBLE SCORE. Eating that sure is going to help the whole feeling fat thing, right? :) Eh, who cares.

My stomach looks the way it does because I gave birth to this little bug. How can I be upset about that?

TDMs, MBDs and PMS (and a giveaway! with a caveat**)

If you don't know what my title means and you're a Mom, you should read this book:

 

Wendy spoke at my MOPS group at Mariners Church this past fall and she gave me a copy of her book. I happened to be the Mom with the youngest baby at the time and she thought I could use all the help I could get! I devoured the book while walking Laila in circles to try to get her to nap back when she was about 6 weeks old and laughed out loud a number of times. Occasionally I read a chapter or two after she went to bed at night and had to share lines here and there with Collin that rang true to me (and also made me laugh). 

Wendy also has a blog that I began to follow after finishing the book which I also love. Today's post was something that I have been thinking a lot about and thought it was so real and honest that it was worth sharing. You can find it here. It's about wanting to just be a mom sometimes and be able to let go of all of the household stuff that "needs" to be done. While Wendy admits that she's not even OCD about cleanliness, etc., I feel like I am sometimes and I have a hard time with that. My brain cannot relax or focus on anything but the fact that there are dishes in my sink and toys on the floor. I find myself trying to get Laila to occupy herself so I can take care of these things when I really should be spending that time engaging with her. I need to learn to LET GO of the little things because Laila is not going to remember whether or not the dishes were done but she will remember if mommy was constantly ignoring her in order to get them done. I also need to learn how to ask Collin for help when I need/want it. Collin is always willing to help when I ask but is not good at offering to help on his own. I need to remember that I can ask for help and I don't have to do it all on my own. (even though it would be nice if he offered!*) 

*disclaimer - we have discussed this, and he does read this blog!

I know it's only going to get harder and harder as more kids (hopefully) come along, so I am trying to get a handle on this now and learn how to prioritize and compartmentalize kid time and cleaning/organizing time and focus on what is most important. This is also true when it comes to God time, because I tend to think cleaning the kitchen while she naps should take precedence over spending some quiet time with Jesus daily. I'm a work in progress and sharing it with you is going to help keep me accountable. I hope. 

**I will send my copy of the book to the first person who asks for it, as long as you promise to pass it along to another Totally Desperate Mom when you're done. And make them promise to do the same, and so on and so on...)

this child cracks me up.

she gets more fun every single day.

Happy 1/2 Birthday!

The bug is 6 months old, and no, I really can't believe it. 

It feels like yesterday we were  driving to the hospital so I could push her out of me and today she is laughing, "talking", sitting up, scooting all over her crib, sleeping on her tummy, cutting teeth, eating real food, starting to understand a few signs ("all done" and "more"), sleeping through the night, keeping herself entertained and in my opinion, getting smarter by the day. It's so fun to watch the wheels turn in her head as she figures new things out every day.

We went to the doctor today and she's 14.4 lbs (25%) and 26.5 inches long (75%).  Doing well in all respects.

Yesterday we invited the couples from our Bradley Method class over for a little "6 month" reunion. Unfortunately one of the couples couldn't make it and Kristina's husband had to work, so she came solo. We had a great time catching up and meeting each others babies who were in our tummies at the time. Wolf is two weeks older than Laila and Abi is one day older!

Just some randoms over the last week or so...

 

She's going to kill me for this later in life but she makes this face when she's trying to poop and it cracks us up every time. I had to share.

photo of the day

...and I'm spent.

It's over. I did it. And I never have to do it again!

That's not to say that I won't. I could be convinced. 

I do know one thing. I no longer have the desire/goal to run a full marathon. 

No thank you. 13.1 miles was plenty for me.

Race day was so much fun and went by quickly. I surpassed my goal of finishing in under 2 hours by quite a bit (in the racing world, I know 8.5 minutes generally doesn't seem like a lot but in running it is), and I felt really good doing it. I feel like my 3+ months of training really paid off and even though 10 miles was the longest distance I had run going into the race I was easily able to finish 13.1 on race day with the adrenaline pumping, my iPod blasting and all the sideline cheers. 

Thank you so much to all of my family and friends for all of your support and encouragement over the last few months as I trained. It meant a lot and really helped me get through some of the tough days when I just didn't want to get out there and run! And thanks as well for your sweet congratulatory notes, calls and texts. I am so blessed to have such great people in my life!

Now who's running the next one with me? haha!

grammy's in town...

 and when grammy's in town, this happens...

and this happens...

what we truly value

 My good friend Lisa sent me a package recently and included in it was a copy of the book Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney. I have always struggled with keeping God at the focus of my life and especially with daily prayer and devotionals, so when I got this book I made it a goal to read at least a chapter a day while Laila was down for one of her naps. I did a pretty good job, only missing a day here or there, and I just finished it. It's a quick read (only 150 or so pages - and it's a little book), but it has a BIG message.

The passage that hit me the hardest was something I read today and I just felt compelled to share it with whoever feels like listening.

"We make time for what we truly value. We build habits and routines around the things that really matter to us. This is an important principle to understand as we seek to build our lives around the gospel.  Do you want to live a cross centered life? A cross centered life is made up of cross centered days (italics his). And those days are ones in which we stay near enough to the cross 'for its sparks to fall on us,'...we don't let ourselves forget that the cross of Christ 'is the blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled' (John Stott's quotation)."

This really convicted me since I claim to be a believer in Christ yet I tend to find time during the day to take hour long runs or watch multiple television shows, yet I "can't" find time to pray or read the bible. What does that say about what I truly value? Nothing good, that's for sure. 

My goal this year is to rectify this. And I really recommend this book. Thanks Lisa for sharing it with me!